Dear Candler

Overheard at Candler

2012-01-12T09:33:00.001-08:00

Overheard in a J term class where time, as it would turn out, does not fly.

"Time flies when you're talking about voodoo."

Kierkegaard

2011-12-13T09:35:00.000-08:00

"Kierkegaard was the original emo kid."-2nd Year MDiv

TAs and their secondary jobs

2011-11-17T05:06:00.001-08:00

"I love using TAs for inappropriate things."-Beloved professor who shall remain unnamed

Fire Alarm

2011-11-10T11:25:00.001-08:00

In case you missed it, there was a Candler Fire Drill today.

"Last time Candler failed miserably."
"That's because Candler students aren't afraid of death."

Dear Candler Instructions

2011-11-06T05:38:00.000-08:00

It was brought to my attention that some of the first years may not know how this fabulous blog works. Here is a link to the instructions.

The rules are that you are not supposed to be involved in the actual quote (hence the "overheard" at Candler). But, since we haven't had many submissions this semester, I've been running my own. Yes, I blame you.

If you don't know either Sam or I personally, you can e-mail one of us: sllewi2@emory.edu or abhutch@emory.edu. There also is a first year running around here somewhere helping out, but I don't have their information (Sam?).

Currently, you all are running at about a Pacini grade's worth on your submissions. We need to get you up to at least that easy-TA-that-gives-everyone-Bs-just-for-writing-their-name-on-the-paper grade's worth. So, perk up those ears, submit some funnies, and let's get through the rest of the semester laughing over the ridiculousness of it!

Harry Potter Bible

2011-11-03T09:25:00.000-07:00

2nd Year MDiv #1: "Oh no! I just tore my Bible!"
2nd Year MDiv #2: "You shouldn't idolize your Bible. It's just a book."
2nd Year MDiv #1: "But JESUS is in my Bible."
2nd Year MDiv #3: "Your Bible is not a Horcrux. You did not just kill Jesus."
2nd Year MDiv #4: "It took a basilisk fang to kill the horcrux, don't you think it would take more than a pencil to kill Jesus?"

2nd Year Video

2011-10-31T09:40:00.000-07:00

I just realized this somehow never made it up here. I take full blame for this as the 2nd year representative for the blog.

Enjoy!

What Paul didn't have...

2011-10-20T07:13:00.001-07:00

LTJ (talking about circumcision): The Gentiles wanted what Paul had.

2nd Year MDiv: Or what he didn't have.

Overheard at Candler

2011-10-13T11:13:00.000-07:00

In Systematic Theology:

"Jesus was hard on the goats though. I like the goats. My best friend is a goat... I'm gonna talk to Jesus about that." -Dr. Erskine

Working out at Seminary

2011-10-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

I find that working out is one way to stay sane in seminary. For those of you looking for a workout more seminarian-appropriate, here's one to get you started.

Overheard at Candler

2011-10-13T06:55:00.000-07:00

A blast from the past. Overheard at Candler in NT 501 last year on the first day of class. Thanks for this, Dr. Johnson:

"iTunes is the devil’s work. Bad students use it badly... We use the New Revised Standard Version which is a horrible work. It’s not the devil’s work but it’s the work of one of the minions of the devil.”

Mondays at Candler

2011-10-06T13:23:00.000-07:00

Dr. Daniel holds up a bar of soap from a Circuit Rider's bag: "Self-care, once a week. Kind of like Mondays at Candler."

"You mean the day students shower?"

Overheard at Candler

2011-10-05T05:46:00.000-07:00

"When you invoke the divine name when you stub your toe, this is the 'prayer reflex.' So, I encourage you to go on praying."

-A professor who shall remain unnamed

2011-10-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler

2011-10-04T05:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler,

With the change in the weather and the cool days now here, it is time to start our annual clothing drive to buy pants for the undergrads.

Love,
Sam

Dear Candler

2011-09-21T05:33:00.000-07:00

I went to post something humorous to lighten all of our hearts which have been so heavy for the last few days. I hoped to lift people's spirits and distract from a heavy workload and the tiredness that has set in. I cannot be funny today though. I considered not posting at all, but now that I'm here, I'm asking you to pray. Dear Candler is meant to be funny and sarcastic and that will continue soon, but for now, please pray. Pray for Troy Davis, pray for his family. Work in the hearts of all those in contact with him this day. Pray for Troy's family, pray for the MacPhails. Pray for those who go to Jackson today to prayerfully protest. Pray with those who remain where they are with nothing left to do but pray. Pray.

http://www.ajc.com/news/nation-world/troy-davis-nears-ga-1185531.html

Overheard at Candler

2011-09-16T07:02:00.000-07:00

A profound observation from Interpretation of the Old Testament 501:

"Sarah is the Betty White of the Old Testament."

Thanks Dr. LeMon

Extra Credit

2011-09-15T12:23:00.000-07:00

For some reason 1^st year students are receiving EXTRA CREDIT in Old Testament (Dear Dr. Strawn, we loved you, why didn’t you love us?) for attending chapel service. That’s like first year law students getting extra credit for going to a keg party, or first year medical students getting extra credit for driving a Lexus. Anywho, here are some activities other professors might consider for Extra Credit.

History of Christian Thought: Watch Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Better yet, write a sequel (because we all know Bogus Journey was, indeed, bogus) that involves run-ins with Augustine and Pseudo-Dionysius.

Ethics: Say something nice behind someone’s back.

Systematics: Bring up Process Theology at a dinner party without being instantly unfriended on Facebook by all others in attendance.

TTTE: Name 95 reasons why this is part of the curriculum.

Preaching: Use at least 3 Lady Gaga songs as sermon illustrations.

New Testament: Dress more casually than Dr. Johnson.

Con Ed: Work for free. Oh, wait…

Dear Candler

2011-09-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler,

I apologize that I have neglected to satirize you over these many months. Now that I'm back, however, can you please, please, please update the photo creeper... I mean directory. This guy is not here any more, he GRADUATED:

http://candler.photobooks.com/directory/profile.asp?dbase=main&setsize=200&last=robinson&page=1&pict_id=1004960 and I really need photos of the new people so that I can stalk them.

My apologies for the hiatus, but I am back.

With all my love,
Sam

On What to Do After Finals...

2011-05-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

Overheard after the last exam of a seminary career:

Senior #1: I'm so excited! I'm going to exercise!

Senior #2: I'm going to the liquor store!

Senior #3: I'm going to read my Bible for fun! Oh, wait...

How to Calculate Easter

2011-04-17T16:58:00.000-07:00

Overheard at Candler:

"I know that Jesus has risen when the Easter candy goes on sale."

Outside CST from one chocolate fiend to another.

Candy Conspiracy, Stolen Jesus, and Madonna (Senior Video 2011)

2011-04-16T20:27:00.001-07:00

Many thanks to Anna Tew, Jarrod Finn, and all of the video participants (including a cameo by Dean Petersen and a surprise appearance by Bishop Candler). Awesome job, everyone!

permalink:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRsUFcCent4

Overheard at Candler

2011-04-08T17:45:00.000-07:00

Dr Snarey: So we can see in the McNamee study that if you are in trouble and are needing help, when you see a good Samaritan coming down the road, you better hope they are in stage 5 moral development rather than stage 2.

overheard in Snarey's Moral Development class

Even God enjoys smoking...

2011-04-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

Professor, on an important Rasta sacrament:

"The smoking of marijuana is for the healing of the nations. See Revelation 22:2 – “the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations” – and Genesis 1:29 – “God gave them every plant for food.”

Even God enjoys smoking: Psalm 18:8 – “there up went a smoke from his nostrils.”

Overheard at Candler

2011-03-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

"I love queer people and I love the Lord."

Overheard in a classroom full of LGBTQ and allied students

Overheard at Candler

2011-03-22T06:30:00.000-07:00

"I don't know if you know this, but 'willy' is a slang term for
penis." -Dr. Reynolds, to his capstone seminar class, during a
digression on Margaret Thatcher.

Overheard by a wonderful, soon to be very missed, 3rd year.

Overheard at Candler

2010-12-03T16:50:00.001-08:00

Discussing the HT final essay:

3rd year MDiv: I just can't believe that Luther believed everything he
wrote. It doesn't make sense.

2nd year MDiv: Well, I think he also just wanted to sell books...
He's like the Glenn Beck of the Reformation.

Overheard at Candler

2010-11-11T08:26:00.000-08:00

Overheard in Old Testament by a 1st year MDiv Student:

Dr. Strawn: With a partner take a minute to TAPP it. It should only last a minute.
Student: That's what she said

Overheard at Candler

2010-11-07T18:42:00.000-08:00

Dabbling in the absurdity of Kierkegaard. Overheard at an HT study group:

"If it wasn't for Wikipedia, I wouldn't be passing this class."

Overheard at Candler

2010-11-02T12:34:00.000-07:00

A third year student discussing All Souls Day chapel with Dr. Winstead and the Wild Heart Band:

"I wish everyday could be easy listening chapel day."

Barth's Halloween Mad Lib

2010-10-29T08:01:00.001-07:00

A Halloween Mad Libs by Karl Barth composed during the 8:00am Systematics class. (*bonus: includes gender specific stereotypes!)

for a bigger image, click here: http://www.toddsalmi.com/Barth_MadLib.JPG

Overheard: Wine into Water

2010-10-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

Overheard in Methodist Theology class, on the Eucharist:

Professor: "When we all get to heaven, I can't wait for Mr. Wesley to get his hands on Mr. Welch. He's gonna have a lot to answer for. What was he thinking, doing the “Methodist miracle” of turning perfectly good wine into water??"

Overheard at Candler: What Christ was thinking...

2010-10-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

Professor, in a recorded lecture:
“Christ knows it’s gonna be a bitch when he’s on the cross... wait, cut the tape!”

Overheard by: amused student who later that day heard Prof #2 say,
"Christ prayed in Gethsemane because he knew the next few days would be SHIT."

Oh, Candler. That'll preach.

Overheard at Candler: Chasing Married Professors

2010-10-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

Female Student: (Following him down the hall trying to get his attention.) Dr. Johnson, I'm chasing you.
LTJ: Oh, you just have to give it up. I know I am attractive, but really...

Overheard@Candler: Circumcising the whole package?

2010-10-14T06:29:00.000-07:00

LTJ: "You get the whole package in circumcision."

Overheard in NT501. Completely taken out of context.

Overheard @ Candler: Santa Claus vs. Arius

2010-10-10T14:35:00.000-07:00

Professor: Santa Claus beat up Arius --- look it up if you don’t believe me!

Overheard by: Student in mission class

Overheard @ Candler: Becoming a Virgin

2010-10-08T12:20:00.000-07:00

Two third years after the topic of renewing virginity was brought up during Pastoral Ethics:

A: "So, you become a virgin by sleeping with a virgin?"

B: "Virginity is not contagious."

Overheard @ Candler: God's Penis

2010-10-07T07:40:00.001-07:00

Prof: “So then we decided to measure God's penis.”

Student: “Is that about potency & power?”

Prof: “I think anytime you're talking penises you're talking potency and power.”

Overheard in a class on Judaism, in a discussion on mysticism

Overheard @ Candler: Just Like Lupus

2010-10-06T11:54:00.001-07:00

Rabbi: “Judaism is just like lupus, except it's not a disease.”

Overheard by student in "Divided by a Common Heritage: Christianity and Judaism"

Overheard @ Candler: More lust, please!

2010-10-05T06:27:00.000-07:00

Overheard in the 4th floor lobby by a 3rd-year student:

ltj, on sex:
"We all need more lust than we think we do."

Overheard@Candler: Putting the Coke in Cokesbury

2010-09-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

In a lecture about the first bishop of Methodism, Thomas Coke:

“It’s the ordination that refreshes!"

("O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing" is basically the same as "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing," right?)

Overheard: UM History

Overheard: Talk is cheap...

2010-09-24T10:03:00.000-07:00

Overheard in Brooks Commons, about the “Sex, Sin, and Salvation” class:

Student 1: We talked about erections for an hour.
Student 2: Talk is cheap.

Student 3: According to McFarland, we should call them “stiffies”
Student 2: What? Context?
Student 3: He said, "There were stiffies in the garden."

Overheard at Candler

2010-09-23T17:41:00.000-07:00

First-Year Student: I need to read more C. S. Lewis so I can talk smarter.

God help us.

A Methodist’s Idea of Diversity

2010-09-23T09:27:00.000-07:00

Arminian professor:

“Some of my best friends are Calvinist.”

Overheard by:
Someone who wants to start a "calvinistpeopleloveus.com" website

Dear Candler--OOPS!

2010-09-22T21:27:00.001-07:00

Dear Candler,

Pardon my inappropriate personal blog post a moment ago on the wrong blog. It has happened before that I've gotten personal writings mixed up with corporate ones. Oh Candler, if only you'd taught me to pay better attention.

Love, Sara (graduate)

Surviving Candler, Tips & Tricks, Part 2 of 2

2010-09-22T09:04:00.000-07:00

All the single ladies!

Surviving Candler: Tips and Tricks, Part 1 of 2

2010-09-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

From "not-pants" to "thuribles" --- it's time to re-live the magic of Candler prom!

Overheard at Candler

2010-09-15T16:08:00.000-07:00

Two first year MDiv students parting ways:

"OK, have fun! Practice Safe Sanctuaries!"

Overheard at Candler: Bear Attack

2010-09-01T03:41:00.000-07:00

3rd Year MDiv Student to another 3rd Year MDiv Student,
"In case of a bear attack make sure to offer your left hand, so that you'll still have your right one for blessing things."

Overheard at Candler

2010-08-31T21:42:00.001-07:00

A conversation between a first year MTS and a first year MDiv student.

MDiv 1st Year: "We will be taking an exam on the entirety of Genesis the same week that we have to have an outline of Exodus done. Welcome to Grad School."

MTS 1st Year: "You're taking OT and NT the same semester?"

Welcome to ~~Grad school~~ Candler

Welcome to Dear Candler/Overheard at Candler!

2010-08-31T13:51:00.000-07:00

Welcome, new Candler students!

Since it's the beginning of the school year, here's a re-post from last year (think of it as Convocation for the Blogosphere: long, boring, repeated, and full of sexy professors).

--------------------------

This blog is a combination of Dear Candler (letters to the institution) and Overheard at Candler (seriously, people at the institution said THAT?!).

If you would like to submit to the blog, please make sure that your Dear Candlers/Overheards are
1)*Lightly* Sarcastic
2)Direct Quotations
3)*Humbly* Whiny
4)Light-hearted and funny

Read through last year's submissions for an idea :-)

For all "Overheard at Candler" submissions, please include the following:
- Who said it. Man/Woman/Child/Annoying Person on the Second Row of 252/etc. You can be specific or vague, but include something.
Example: MDiv student: "blah"

- Where it was said.
Example: Cannon Chapel

- Who overheard it. (optional)
Example: Overheard by: One row back

It's usually funnier if you give us some context.

Conversations you participate in are not "overheards" and are generally not published but CAN be used as the basis of a "Dear Candler" letter. Cleverly disguise your role in the conversation... or just start listening more.

To submit, send an e-mail or facebook message to one of the bloggers (currently, Sam, Diane, and Ben) & we will choose the best to post each day.

Thanks!! Blog On!

Overheard at Candler

2010-08-31T06:58:00.000-07:00

LTJ introducing New Testament 501:

“People make fun of us in New Testament because we study something that you can read on the john in an afternoon”

And it begins...

2010-08-20T05:16:00.000-07:00

Question from a first year MTS student inquiring about social life at Candler:

"Are there parties at seminary?"

...yes. We gather at one another's homes and read the Bible.

Overheard at Candler

2010-08-11T10:35:00.000-07:00

Dr. Abbington discussing the Christian year in Public Worship class:

"Some people will say this is the season of epiphany. Well how many times did you epiph?"

Overheard at Candler

2010-08-09T10:27:00.000-07:00

Intro to Public Worship

"I was at one church and they were reciting this thing-- it made the Apostle's Creed look like an acronym."-Dr. Abbington

aaaaaaand we're back.

Dear Candler

2010-07-03T10:47:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NswT7xK8VmA

Please send this man a letter saying that he's been accepted to our Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and we look forward to seeing him August 23 for orientation.

Thanks. Seriously, please get this guy to come to Candler.

Much love and hope you're having a good summer,

Sam

Dear Candler

2010-05-12T08:20:00.001-07:00

Dear Candler ~

I realize I have graduated - my diploma is nestled nicely into its frame - but about that grade I am still missing, I would like it now. Some have said that "grades don't matter anymore" but they matter to me. So please give me my last graduation present - that being my final GPA.

Love ya - mean it - see ya later!

Sarah Beth-Ann

Overheard @ Candler: Grading Sex

2010-04-29T10:28:00.000-07:00

--Overheard @ CST--

Student 1: "Dr. Johnson, what are you doing?"
LTJ: "I'm grading people's sexual performance."

------------------------------------------------------

It's a perfect bookend to the semester that began with:
"What are you taking this semester?"
"I have sex with Dr. Johnson in the mornings."

Overheard at Candler

2010-04-27T20:09:00.003-07:00

Student 1: "Well, the paper is 20 pages long..."
Student 2: "20 pages?? Does that include pictures?"
Student 1: "Yes, it does."

Overheard @ Candler

2010-04-27T20:09:00.001-07:00

MTS Student 1: (reading aloud from John Chrysostom) “For even if a man accepts a widow as his wife, it is not as if he had taken her as a virgin, for his amorous desires are more violent and frenzied with the virgin than with the widow--a point I suppose is obvious to everybody. A husband does not embrace and love a widow with his whole heart, for she has practiced with another man.”

MTS Student 2: “Oh god, that makes me feel terrible.”

MTS Student 1: (pointing to the Bible) “Then I imagine this book makes you feel like shit.”

Dear Candler---PROM: post scriptum

2010-04-26T21:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler,

Thanks for a great time Friday night. Prom was super fun. Seriously good work on the video; it was hilarious. I wasn’t a big fan of the luau theme (so I boycotted it), but I’ll admit that I was quite impressed with some of my classmates’ versions of island elegant.

I should also say that the service was impeccable. My salmon was delicious, and I heard the steak was perfectly cooked. That whole part where the bar ran out of wine was hella lame, but let’s be honest: when I realized at 1am that the chances of me getting drunk were slim, I knew I had only myself to blame for not packing a flask like every other self-respecting seminarian. (But seriously, you do owe me $2.50.)

I also thought the superlatives were a little much, but I suppose we can justify anything in the name of community-building. And though there were a few too many choreographed dances for my liking, I appreciated the opportunity to see the DJ talents of fellow Candler students.

In the end, a prom is only as good as its after-party, and believe me, there were quite a few to choose from. So thank you, my dear Candler, for facilitating a long and fantastic night of extracurricular fellowship, awkward dancing, and flowing libations.

Most sincerely,
Procrastinating Senior

Dear Candler--PROM

2010-04-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler,

I was somewhat excited about going to Candler Prom (cough* Spring Banquet) last night. It's always a joy to gather with my fellow students and celebrate the end of the year--even more so this year, since it is, thank God, my last. I however, Candler, was deeply let-down by the experience.

I do have to say a great congratulations to the class of 2010 for meeting and then exceeding last year's senior class by pledging more and having a significantly greater percentage participation for their senior gift campaign (of which I contributed). That being said, however, I'd like some of my gift back and here's why:

Candler Prom was a rip-off. Luau theme? Leis? Seriously? I will give you props because it was, at the very least, tastefully done.

The salmon was pretty good but I do feel for my friends who received steaks that were still Moo-ing.

I was delighted when I looked around and saw that dessert was being served and appalled when I realized that, without announcement and through telepathy I suppose we were to realize that somewhere in the hallway dessert had been displayed and immanently more appalled to find that there wasn't enough to dessert to go around and that my entire table (all 3rd years) would go without what appeared to be cheesecake.

Dearest Candler, I must also say that you obviously have Jesus-like high hopes for us. I feel the greatest empathy for those who bought wine tickets last night only to find that they would not receive it because they ran out. I appreciate your high hopes but I doubt that, despite our degrees or "almost-degrees", no matter how many of us laid hands that water would be nothing but water.

And finally, lovely Candler, was there a real reason we skimped out on DJ last night?

Needless to say we left early and I paid 15$ for a small piece of salmon and water. Sigh*

Overheard at Candler

2010-04-22T20:20:00.003-07:00

Said by a first year MTS student:

"I love using Jesus talk against people."

Dear Candler

2010-04-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler (and Emory) ~

As a graduating third year I have more pressing matters and tasks to complete than responding to surveys every five seconds.

I have my priorities in line...namely, GRADUATING in 19 days.

Love ya -- mean it.

Sarah Beth-Ann

Dear Candler...

2010-04-19T14:15:00.000-07:00

I appreciate you taking the time to not tell us you were going to use our classroom for overflow of some preaching workshop today. It was really nice when the students and the professor were in the dark as we attempt to get inside. What's even better is you tell us that we are going to be in room 520, which, in case anyone wonders, doesn't exist! Heck, an email would have been nice before we got there. Or at least you could have told our professor!

Sincerely,
Someone who really wants to graduate and not have to deal with this crap anymore.

Dear Candler...

2010-04-19T05:55:00.001-07:00

More specifically, Dear the really loud person on your phone at 9 am on Monday morning in Brooks,

SHUT UP! No one gives a flying $%#@ that you really enjoy to cook. Or that you think the person on the other end is "sooooo funny" that you have to say it in a high pitched squeal. Just because you think that your conversation is important enough that all two of us in this place has to hear it, doesn't mean that I want to.

Oh, and have fun at your friend's "land" since I know for a fact you are going there...since you said it at least 5 times.

Screw it, I'm going to a place where I won't be distracted by your loud noises...a Metallica concert.

Sincerely,
A third year needing to get work done.

Overheard @ Candler: Sabbath Tips

2010-04-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

In a class discussing Sabbath:

Student 1: “It’s amazing when you work as a waitress and you are required to work every other Sunday so no one has to work EVERY Sunday, and church-people to come in for Sunday brunch and ask you why you’re not at church.”

Student 2: “It’s even better when you get a tract instead of a tip.”

Dear Candler

2010-04-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler,

My class read Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree with a feminist/ecological hermeneutic.

First you take away my Jesus and now you take away my Giving Tree? What more do you want from me?!

Love,
Diane

Dear Candler...

2010-04-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

We need a class on this!

Love,
Someone who always knew Harry Potter was evil!

Dear Candler: It Ain't Easy Being Green

2010-04-07T10:32:00.000-07:00

Dear Candler,

Thank you so much for helping me save the planet by printing pages and pages and pages of readings in addition to the hundreds of dollars worth of books I purchased for your classes. Way to really "Go Green!" And thank you so much for making such awful copies that my printer goes through its expensive cartridges at breakneck speed because of inch and half black strips on the edges. And, oh yeah, thanks for skipping two pages on the article that I am facilitating the discussion on... it made the edges being cut off of the copy much more tolerable. We know just a few words on each line can't make all that much difference to the meaning of the sentence... right?

Love,

An Environmentally-/Fiscally-Conscious "Green" Second Year

Dear Candler--Disgruntled 3rd Year

2010-04-07T08:18:00.000-07:00

I think I've always enjoyed the class and prestige that Candler has exhibited every year for Spring Banquet. I had to plead for Craig to drive 7 hours here just for a dinner and celebration this year thinking he'd get to enjoy that prestige too. That being said I am embarrassed now that Spring Banquet is in fact more like Candler Prom this year with its luau/Survivor them. Thanks A LOT Candler.

(P.S. Would you like us to embarrass YOU and show up in bikinis? It could be arranged).

Dear Candler...

2010-04-07T08:16:00.000-07:00

A Candler Spring Banquet that is themed? That's so original. Here I was, expected you all to know that "Candler Prom" is just a short name, and not a cry from the wilderness stating that we want to be in junior high again, but you all knew better. I just hope my mom will let me stay out past my curfew that night!

Oh, and its "Survivor" Themed. Ah, Candler, "Relevant Pop-Culture References since 2003 (But Not Beyond)"

Love,

Steven - Tribe "Ooga Booga"

Overheard at Candler

2010-04-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

Leaving Maundy Thursday service:

1st student: Is it wrong that I am leaving religious services with my pantyhose in my hands?
2nd student: hmmm, It's not quite like 'the walk of shame' from undergrad.

...two posts about pantyhose in two days- I'll consider that a win.

Overheard at Candler

2010-04-05T12:45:00.000-07:00

Said by a 1st year:

"Oh no, I spilled beer on my pantyhose on Easter Sunday..."

Overheard at Candler

2010-04-04T07:11:00.001-07:00

Overheard at the St. John's Easter vigil. Said by a first year former Baptist:

"Between the martian and the booze on the altar I think I might be a Lutheran."

Overheard @ Candler

2010-04-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

Third Year #1: "I guess I just don't love Jesus."

Third Year #2: "That explains a lot."

Overheard: Off-Campus

overheard at Candler

2010-03-31T10:24:00.001-07:00

Outside of 252 between classes. A discussion between two third years:

"I want a cute house. My house is green and brown inside- I live in throw up."

"You live in Mississippi."

Dear Candler...

2010-03-31T08:26:00.000-07:00

I've turned in my final reflection from my three years here at Candler. I could have discussed all my friends that I've made, or the strong calling towards Biblical Archaeology. However, this here is the greatest thing I've learned throughout my years at Candler...

Push back on that, Candlerites!

Steven

Overheard at Candler....

2010-03-18T13:28:00.000-07:00

In a discussion of Last Temptation:

Student: Paul was just an early church douche-bag.

Overheard by: So what does that make Timothy?

Overheard @ Candler

2010-03-17T19:52:00.000-07:00

"Overheard" on facebook......(I know, I know). Two 3rd years. I'll entitle it "Holy Ghost Angst".

(Status Update) 'Jane Doe' needs the Holy Spirit, like right now. Or yesterday.
(Response to Update) 'Jon Doe' Didn't you hear? it got kicked out of Candler.

Sigh*

Dear Candler...

2010-03-16T13:53:00.000-07:00

Just...wow.

Overheard @ Candler

2010-03-16T06:34:00.000-07:00

3rd Year MDiv: "Is it safe to go back in your classroom now? Is the talk about sex over?" [Referring to LTJ's Sexuality in the Bible class]

LTJ: "Yes, feel free to go mop up after us now!"

Overheard: The Hallway

Overheard at Candler

2010-03-15T14:37:00.001-07:00

A group of 1st years standing outside Pitts Theology Library discussing Jesus' work with social justice:

"If only everyone were as smart as us."

Dear Candler....

2010-03-15T09:13:00.000-07:00

So, you send us an email over spring break telling us that we need to have a certain list of things done in order for us to graduate. I'm so glad that I don't have important things like papers, presentations, and job searching that can get in the way for me to write a reflection on my autobiographical statement that I sent three years ago. In fact, let me just write that right now...

"Yup, haven't created a time machine yet, so this all is still relevant."

Done and Done.

Love,
Steven

Dear Candler...

2010-03-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

Why do we need seminary? Here's all we need to know. Thank you, Creepy Puppets and Cartoon!

Love,
Steven

ps. thanks to our friends at Everything is Terrible!

Only at candler...

2010-03-04T15:08:00.000-08:00

...would you overhear:

"Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday Your Eminence
Happy Birthday to you"

(overheard at the interfaith dialogue with Cardinal Kasper)

Bowing down to God

2010-03-03T07:01:00.000-08:00

Said by a professor in a class this morning:

"People bow down a lot in the Old Testament. It can be both a sign of affection and of fear of getting killed. It's true. You can say 'don't f'ing kill me' and 'I love you.' "

Dear Candler...

2010-03-01T09:17:00.000-08:00

Once again, you amaze me with how you out do yourself in Brooks. First, I thought the music was bad when it was crappy acoustic remakes of songs that didn't need remaking in the first place. Now, its, ummm, well, porn music. That's the best way I can describe. Dependence on Saxophone, Electric Drums, the sense that its 1989...yup, Porn Music. When I walked into Brooks today and heard it, well, I eagerly anticipated seeing two young ladies paying for their 7.00 peanut butter sandwich in a new and exciting way, but alas, I was sorely disappointed!

Love,

Steven

Dear Candler

2010-02-26T11:18:00.000-08:00

Dear Candler ~

I pine for the days where I am no longer held captive to one of your partner associations known as Emory Student Healthcare. Why is it that every time I need an appointment you delay my seeking medical attention for 24-72 hours?! You suggest that if it is an emergency that I can go to Emory Hospital's ED, but then suffer the consequences of paying ED prices. Don't you cause students enough heart and wallet-ache by making us pay your outrageous prices for insurance UP FRONT at the beginning of each semester without making us WAIT a RIDICULOUS amount of time to meet with medical professionals we have already paid to see?! Give me a break...

72 days to Graduation -- 72 days to freedom from Emory Student Healthcare

Bless Your Heart (you know what that means...),

Sarah Beth-Ann

Overheard at Candler

2010-02-26T09:35:00.000-08:00

A discussion of Purim overheard in Brooks Commons:

"How about we just drop the reading of the book of Esther, the costumes, but keep the drinking?"

Dear Candler: Dungeons & Dragons

2010-02-25T12:41:00.000-08:00

Dear Candler,

I would like to thank you for the stellar classroom environments that you have provided for us. I am currently in a room in the basement of the chapel, quite similar to a dungeon. But hey, at least there are windows, even if they do look out onto a concrete wall. That's certainly a step up from some of the classrooms in the new building that don't have any windows at all. This room is also kept at a cool 60 degrees or less- but I guess the cold air helps us concentrate, right?

In addition, there is some lovely ambience going on right now. A few minutes ago, a low-pitched growling sound started. Some of us thought it sounded like snoring - perhaps a student asleep on a couch in Brooks, just above us? (Egads! No sleeping on the couches allowed!) However, now it sounds more like someone is using a jackhammer right above us, combined with a high-pitched squeal that sounds much like fingernails on a chalkboard. Heck, it could even be a dragon waking up...would make sense since I'm hanging out in a dungeon.

Don't worry, it's not at all distracting and I'm sure it's actually helping me concentrate and learn more.

Thanks so much! All my love,

Pre-gaming

2010-02-24T14:00:00.000-08:00

Dear Candler,
Glad the TA's finally got the terminology right for a pre-party.

Overheard @ Candler

2010-02-23T17:01:00.000-08:00

In front of CST today:

1st student: see ya. Stay out of trouble.
2nd student: We're in theology school, how much trouble could we get into?
1st student: Well, there is that whole martyr thing.

(tehehehehe how much trouble can we get into..........)

Overheard @ Candler

2010-02-23T16:24:00.000-08:00

Dr. Erskine: "The hard question is whether or not Jesus had testicles."

Overheard by: 3rd year M.Div. in Christology and Ethics

Overheard @ Candler

2010-02-22T20:09:00.000-08:00

MDiv Student 1: "What are you doing with that book?"

MDiv Student 2: "I'm looking for a Lenten hymn to post as my facebook status!"

Ahh...things only a seminarian would say.

Overheard: The Hallway

Overheard @ Candler: If stirrups could talk...

2010-02-22T15:32:00.000-08:00

United Methodist Professor, asking & answering his own question:

Question: “If that stirrup could talk, what would it say?”

Response: “He’s got a ticket to ride, Asbury’s got a ticket to ride and he don’t care”

Overheard: Methodist History

Overheard @ Candler: Pre-Gaming Jesus

2010-02-21T18:49:00.000-08:00

Methodist Student: Wow, you can tell this isn't a Methodist ordination --- they're serving wine!

Episcopalian Student: An ordination in the Episcopal church won't take unless the ordinand toasts it afterwards. Drinking Jesus' blood is just pre-gaming.

Overheard: Off-campus, at an Episcopal ordination reception

Dear Candler

2010-02-20T10:31:00.001-08:00

Dear Candler...

You would be proud of me today. And you should be thanking me. I received an email from a prospective student (found me through a mutual friend), asking me a billion and one questions about Candler. I answered them all in a very positive way - and spent like an hour and a half doing this by the way. Perhaps I should have been reading or writing a paper for class....oh well!

Anyway, she should really like Candler now and want to come here. She is visiting next week so don't screw it up. Also, be glad I didn't send her a link to this blog!

Love,

Overheard at Candler

2010-02-18T17:24:00.000-08:00

"If you let people chew gum in church, pretty soon they are going to have orgies."
-LTJ

Overheard By: Students attending the panel - "SATAN: FALLACY, FANTASY, FIEND ... ?"

Dear Candler...

2010-02-17T08:15:00.000-08:00

"The Blogs"

"The Wiki"

"The Twitter"

"The Google"

Why, dear candlerites, the unnecessary "The's"? It makes me "the rage" and want to go "the crazy"!

The Love,

The Sven